Tag: Women’s march

We’re all fat

Women, we are all fat.  Fat is just the first line of attack.  If you aren’t fat, then you might be too skinny.  Or have a flat chest.  Or too big of a chest.  No thigh gap.  No butt.  No eyebrows.  Bushy eyebrows.

If a man or “women hating woman,” wants to shut you down, put you in your place, get you to stop talking or acting in a manner in which they don’t agree, they will go for a physical feature.  It’s cheap.  It’s easy, and it works.

Several sexist pigs, who represent and work with women, decided to go for the easy jab these past few days.  Here are a few of the highlights-

Judge Bailey Mosely in Texas called the marchers, “a million fat women.” (You can call his office by clicking on the word Judge for the number. I did and told the woman I was sorry she had to work in such a hostile environment.  She seemed very appreciative of the support.)

J. R. Doporto from New Mexico kept the fat joke rolling when he posted a meme about fat women marching. (Click on the link for his number)

Mike Causey @gocausey2012, N.C. Insurance Commissioner, also posted a meme about fat women marching.  Original, these guys.

First, a moment of silence for their poor wives and daughters.

Great, now that that’s done let’s talk about this form of controlling behavior and how we can confront it and let it wither away.

First, we all have something that can be attacked.  All of us, every single one of us.  I know what you are saying, “But Mary, Gisele, what about Gisele?”  Yes, Gisele meets all the requirements for being pleasing to a man’s eyes.  For now.  Today.  The unfortunate problem is, God willing, Gisele gets older.  And then, what will they say? (I know you know how to answer this)

“Have you seen Gisele?”

“The model, yeah.  She certainly went downhill.” (burp)

“I know.  She used to be so hot.  Now, she looks like hell.  All old and stuff.”

Or, if Gisele, attempts to deal with society’s pressure for her not to age-

“Have you seen the work Gisele’s had done?”

“Yeah. she looks ridiculous with those lips and all.” (burp)

Do you see my point?  There will always be something.  Maybe not today, but one day all women will have had to stand before a man and be judged.

We need to see it for what it is, an attack to keep us quiet, in the corner, not sayng upsetting things.

Second, we need to call it out when we see it, and we need to teach our daughters to do the same.  When we hear men say, “Look at Kathie Lee’s face!” and even though Kathie Lee is on the TV and not in the room with us, and we may not even like her very much, we need to say, “Why do you feel you are in a position to judge someone’s appearance?”

It’s just a question.

Let the silence envelop the room.  It’s your first time doing this; people are not going to react well.  Ask again.  If you get anything but a reaction of remorse for being so rude, then you gotta go for the jugular.  I’m sorry.  It must be done so they can understand how hurtful their behavior is.  Here is an example:

“I’m just curious why you, with that receding hairline, roll of digested Krispy Kreme’s sitting on your belt and nachos in your mustache make you feel you are in a position to judge her.”

Mean, I know.  Sometimes you have to experience it to understand it.

Finally, please tell me you aren’t one of those Judgey McJudgerson’s who makes themselves feel better by thinking how good they look in comparison to other women, and then I hate to even write it, please tell me you don’t say those nasty thoughts out loud.

Never talk about a woman’s appearance, ever, except in positive tones.  Always.  Everywhere.  Everyday.  Remember, you will have your day, and we’ll have your back.  Or backside.  Or nose.  Whatever they decide to criticize, we are going to be all over their ugliness.

 

From whom does my help come?

When I was a little girl, maybe six or seven years old, my family and I visited some relatives in Philadelphia, PA.  I was upstairs with my brothers and cousins and developed a nose bleed.  I was upset at the sight of blood and went downstairs, running to a relative for help.  Upon seeing me, this relative reared back her hand and slapped me hard across the face.

Others at the table where she sat were taken aback by her reaction, as was I.  I began crying, and she immediately explained that she thought I had gotten into my aunt’s makeup and had smeared red lipstick all over my face.  She didn’t realize I was bleeding, and felt badly about hitting me.

I share this story with you, because I feel we, like this relative of mine, have lost sight of what a cry for help looks like.  We aren’t reacting with compassion and a desire to understand, but rather with the same stinging slap I received as a child.

The election of Donald Trump is a cry for help from unemployed, or under employed white rural voters.

Players and band members sitting during the national anthem is a cry for help from people of color who are scared of their loved ones or themselves, dying during a routine traffic stop.

The speech from the cast members of Hamilton was a cry for help, asking our elected officials to acknowledge the racism, religious intolerance and misogyny experienced by our fellow Americans.

Women organizing to march in Washington is a cry for help against unequal pay, unwanted sexual advances and discrimination in the workplace.

Even the alt right, with its desire to develop a white nation state, is a cry for help as white people acknowledge their dwindling role as the majority in our country.

Clearly, there are several citizens who are not feeling a need to cry for help.  What race, sex and income group do you feel comprises the safest Americans?  If you can guess the answer as easily as I can, maybe we can all at least agree that while there is a percentage of our countrymen doing quite well, there are an awful lot of people who are experiencing a great deal of pain.

Maybe some of those people who are struggling will be sitting around your dining room table this Thanksgiving.  Maybe some of them didn’t vote for your candidate.  Maybe some of them don’t share your views.

What if, instead of arguing or choosing to ignore each other, we each asked, “how do you feel let down or left out?”  “What are your biggest worries?”  “What are your biggest fears?” and “What change do you hope to see?”

And perhaps most important of all, “what can I do to help?”

Many of our friends, neighbors and family members are issuing cries for help.  What if we lend our ears and listen to them instead of being quick to react and perhaps cause unnecessary pain?

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén